Hey Guys…Would You Loan Me $500?



I mean… I hate to ask and all that…but I really need it for this thing that is really really important. I promise you I’ll give it back ‘cos look I’ve made out a plan of how I can pay you back by next month. I really, really, really need this, it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity and if I miss this it will NEVER come around again!


Have you heard the schpiel before? Indeed are you the one with the schpiel?

I’m going to tell you straight. I never loan or borrow money from friends or family. Period.

The quickest way to gain an enemy is to loan money to a friend or family member.

If I have it and want to give it, you can have it. If you have the manners to pay it back, however slowly or in whatever amounts (within reason) then you can come back and ask again any time you need help. If you are a pig and don’t even get back to me, just try asking me again.

But I will never chase that money because I would never give what I cannot afford to lose.


Them’s are my rules. I’m interested in yours?


I was once helping out someone who I was really impressed with. They’d spent quite a bit of time in prison and having come out had put together a show and tell highlighting the stark negatives of prison life which they had begun touring schools with.

They had invited me to go along and tell my story as (hopefully) a counter balance to their own and as I had done the school tour motivational speaking thing many times before I was happy to freely give my time.

The problem

Then very early in the relationship I got the knock on the front door…

‘Um …can I come in? Sorry to bother you…um…I don’t like to ask…’

Me in my head: ‘Oh here we go!’

The story was they needed to pay a bill – it was very urgent…blah blah… can’t carry on with the tour unless it’s paid… yadda.

I knew that they were being backed by people who were handling the monies and other aspects of the whole ‘prison tour’ concept, so I asked why they hadn’t gone to the backers as it was in their interest to keep them on the tour. To be honest I can’t remember the answer because I knew it was BS. My brain has an auto-filter for BS.

The Solution

But just in case their issue was genuine I told them that this is what I’ll do. The bill was £200? Fine I would help them with £80. They should then go and find the remaining £120 and hand it to me and I will ring the company and pay the whole of this bill via credit card then and there.

Strangely enough they never came back.


As well intentioned as they might have been I could see from this and other things they had told me that they were not listening to their own motivational messages about falling back into old habits and avoiding prison.

Judge Judy

Having been accosted only recently for large loans (plural) that ‘Honestly I can pay you back end of the month’ for complete and asinine frippery my gears have been grinded…. (ground?) I’ve watched many an episode of Judge Judy where countless friendships are trashed in court because people who thought they were helping out friends in dire need were flippantly told later in litigation that their savings or hard earned cash handed over to help their friend was a actually a non reimbursable gift i.e a legal get-out not to pay them back.

You know how when they’re begging for help it’s a loan and their generous friend is the GREATEST person on earth, but when it comes time to pay the money back their kind friend suddenly becomes Satan to them?

It actually disgusts me to see it, because the lender, albeit a little dim, has helped out of the kindness of their hearts and 99% of the time could absolutely not afford to lose the money.

Never a borrower or a loaner be the saying goes.


I wanna hear your experiences and what you learned from loaning money or your car, or your phone, gadgets or other things, because many people either return things broken and disrespectfully try and pin the damage on the lender or lose the item then go into hiding.

Plus what have you told your little’ uns about loaning money and things…if anything?

Or are you the borrower? Do you see money given to you as a gift or do you prioritize paying it back?


Conrad Hilton

I ain't beaten yet wop logo 3Hey y’all! In my career I’ve met a lot of achievers, both famous and not so famous and I loved collecting their stories. One thing they all had in common was an absolute blind refusal to give up when the load became too heavy.
The ability to pick oneself off the ground…(yet again!) and dust off the seat of our pants is in all of us. If you are experiencing tough times this little series of stories is for you. For some folk, who seem to have been handed it all on a plate, their stories will surprise you!


WHO? : Conrad Hilton

IS? : Founder of Hilton Hotels (and Paris Hilton).

SAID? : ‘Success seems to be connected with action. Successful men keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.’

The name Hilton may elicit images of partying, dodgy sex videos and airhead behaviour but Paris Hilton’s great grandfather’s work some decades ago is responsible for her sometimes ubiquitous presence in the media today. Like previous examples, Conrad Hilton serves as another sparkling example of beating harsh personal and financial circumstances whether they are happenstance or self inflicted.


Empire Building

Hilton bought his first hotel in Texas 1919. He added to this by building his first hotel from scratch six years later. Another hotel opened in two more years and at least another three over the following decade. This rapid growth led to him forming the Hilton Hotels Corporation and because he was also expanding into areas such as credit cards and travel services he formed the Hilton International Company by 1948.


Empire Losing

During the Great Depression which swept through most of the 1930’s, Hilton’s nascent empire spiralled into debt and one by one he began losing his properties. He was unable to finish the new hotels he had started building and he was forced to sell off the ones already up and running.
Hilton however fought to be retained as the manager by the new owners of his hotel empire and he resolved to work hard to find his way out of his difficulties.


Empire Re-Building

Utilizing his upstanding reputation and the goodwill he had previously cultivated, (quite an important point), he was able to conradhiltonobtain the goods he needed on credit during the uncertain times to continue the smooth running of the corporation.

Slowly but surely by keeping tenuous hold of his interests he was able to work his way back into ownership of his own creation eventually buying all his hotels back and expanding his empire greater than it was before. In doing so he created the worlds first international hotel chain
…and Paris Hilton.


Grrr! Why YOU ain’t beat yet!

You are not beaten because seemingly once you have

1. A Plan

2. Focus

no circumstance will be able to thwart your purpose. Perhaps the greatest battle we have is with ourselves and our own self doubt.
Hilton was also able to do what so many of my featured profiles were able to do and that is ‘Keep His Eyes On The Prize’. How humbling do you imagine it was, going to work in your own ex-hotel as the manager rather than the grand owner? But the ‘shame’ of it was not his focus.

It Wasn’t Me!

It would have been really easy don’t you think for Hilton to consider himself the unluckiest man alive to have lost everything he had worked so hard to attain. He could have wallowed in his loss and perhaps turned to drink or drugs whilst revisiting the story of how he had lost everything to anyone in a bar who would listen or revolving it around in his head time and time again.

Or what about the perennial favourite of finding someone else to blame? Recognize this behaviour pattern? Sure you do! I do! Instead he placed his focus on getting his empire back and making it bigger, better and stronger than ever before.

A Foundation

Hilton also had a hidden weapon in his back pocket. His grounding in his Christian faith. It would have given him that mental and spiritual strength that would have been needed to get over the initial loss of his empire and see the future possibilities beyond his situation. Spiritual faith aligned with any denomination of your choice cannot be under estimated because although intangible and hard to quantify, it drives the mechanics of physical change that we are able to see. It’s lack of absolute definition is what makes its power potent and infinite because you can mould it’s power to suit your needs.

One Last Grrr!

Grrr! Okay no more excuses. You have a dream? A business, an artistic endeavour, a family to raise? Go get ’em tigers!

Money Killed My Parrot!

Money is evil
Money is a curse
Money splits friends
Money killed my parrot??!!!parrot2-290x353

I hope you are wondering how on earth it is possible for money to kill my parrot. If you can’t come up with a feasible scenario you would be right. Without a human being’s clumsy interjection, money cannot kill my parrot because it is an inanimate object. This was in fact a big fat lie! And the moral of my flimsy story is that people shouldn’t make up mean stories about money because they wouldn’t like it if it were done to them!

Our Relationship With Money

In this post I want to you to look at your relationship with money to assess whether it could be holding you back from attracting enough to have it stuffed into drawers and hanging out of biscuit tins in your house.

I have touched on this in various comments. I mentioned the old conviction that ‘money is evil,’ as some would have you believe. The actual saying is ‘the love of money is the root of all evil’. Which still isn’t even true. But whatever IS the route, it is MAN who commits ALL crime and to blame money is just making excuses for the lack of it and passing responsibility for our own very human failures.

Money Talk

The way I wax lyrically about money is the same way I wax lyrically about anything of interest. Money is not the source of my life, my well being, my happiness, my fun or my goals. It has always been a rather nice consequence of what I choose to do with my life and the more the merrier. I wouldn’t limit it’s presence any more than I would limit the amount of smiles I receive daily to a set figure. That would seem so random and absurd and yet I hear people state how much would be just enough for them all the time. But why the limit? If they were offered more would they then burn it?

They don’t do that with say hair cuts, friends, pens, TV watching i.e, ‘In my life I only need watch 55,000 hours of TV and I’ll be happy’…so why pick on money?

Why the awkward relationship with money?

It is because some people have learnt to be uncomfortable with money or around it. They have learnt to distrust it, misunderstand it, misuse it, avoid it and attribute the wrong level of importance to it and yet not enough importance to understand enough financial jargon to protect it. It is a historical trick played on the psyche of the less wealthy by those who have absolutely no problem acquiring lots of it, particularly sourcing it from those who don’t have much of it in the first place! This game is financially damaging, deceptive, often corrupt and meant to obscure the real truth about wealth. It is kept in place to keep ‘ordinary’ folks handing over their hard earned cash to the super wealthy, via interest, charges, ignorance, tax and paying out to mimic the pretense of wealth with excessive, money wasting materialism. All the while blaming the wrong things or people for their lack of abundance. Money is not at fault. People are.

Are You A Financial Buck Passer?

I have watched financial buck passers literally back away from people who are obviously wealthy when I have taken them to show-bizzy events. They creep away quietly to a corner, preferring to have lengthy conversations with the waiters. Nothing wrong with waiters but this is where they are most comfortable. Is this you? Are you uncomfortable around financial success? Are you comfortable even just watching it or do you find yourself hurling insults at ‘successful’ people on TV from the comfort of your over-used sofa or from behind the anonymity of a computer on a regular basis?

Are you the sort of person who can’t quite put your finger on why you hate, say, Victoria Beckham and her family despite never having met them?

Artists, Artisans, Self Employed Or Small Business Buck Passers

The non lazy buck passers are also the type of people who toil hard and give excellent service in their line of work but disrespect their own talent or skill by waaaay undercharging. In my life as a business manager and coach, I have been in the process of negotiating on the telephone for a client, having pitched my figures at FIVE TIMES the amount they had originally suggested, only to have them red faced and mortified, waving and hissing loudly in the background, ‘NOOOOOOOO!’ They were hugely embarrassed to ask for such an amount.

Needless to say the customer always said yes and would always send a never-received-before thank you card upon completion of the job – both for the delivered job and the no nonsense service. On the other hand, this type of client would normally undercharge and yet their customers would still always find reasons and excuses not to pay them, upon completion of work. My pricing was never questioned because I did not ask apologetically if it would be okay to charge that particular amount and would they be able to afford it – (as one client often did!) It was delivered as a clear statement of what the job was truly worth, not a query.

Sainsburys or Walmart never ask their customers if they can afford their charges and neither do their customers attempt to pay less than the official prices, or refuse to pay once at the checkout, yet they are worth billions. Why is it that people who really NEED the money feel so insecure about asking for what their efforts are worth?

Working 9-5 What A Way To Make A Living!

When you get a 9-5 job, a stranger values you by what they pay you by the hour and somehow, (unsurprisingly), it is never quite enough is it? Doesn’t it seem that with transport, tax, food, clothing, snacks, after work hook-ups and other miscellaneous items you often end up paying out say £57 a day to earn £54? Very few people taste the freedom of never HAVING to work again, or having more than enough. The ones that do are people who do not give money undue respect. Money should haul rocks for you. You shouldn’t be hauling rocks for money. In other words money should be YOUR b*tch! The goal is to make it work for you. Not the other way around and I’ll get into this more from my own personal experience at a later date.

Money knows it’s place in my life and I have no fear earning and receiving as much of it that is available for me. I have had very little of it and tons of it and neither state changed my character or made me profoundly happier or sadder. It simply buys things. Products, time, respect, relaxation and economic peace of mind. That’s it! Used badly it can also buy a whole lotta trouble too! Either way it is not a dirty word, evil, a device that makes good people evil or greedy, (they already are!), a curse or something that is not spoken about in polite company. It is merely a means to an end, a device, a tool…I say BRING IT ON!

Please Do Come In And Wipe Your Feet First!

Whatever it’s size it is always welcome in my house! I will handle it. And I speak about millions (and billions!) whilst being one of the least materialistic people I know. Whilst I don’t respect money, I respect what it can do and indeed has done for me and others.

Can you honestly say that you have a good great relationship with money? One not based on fear, unintelligent nonsense, old fashioned beliefs, old wives tales, ignorance, feelings of unworthiness? Do you understand the basics of money, the history of money, the monetary system and how it works and how to make it work for YOU? Have you ever sat your children down and discussed money? Or despite it being one of the things we use every single day of our lives, do you not deem it important enough?