So folks, I need some hot takes and clarification for this one…
If I was caught stealing from a friend would you still consider me trustworthy? Would you give me a job minding your store if you knew I had stolen from a friend?
I ask this because every time someone in the public eye is caught out cheating on their (usually) wives, a whole raft of defenders step up to explain how it has nothing to do with the role they are paid to perform because it is their private life.
So why is cheating on a partner given a break i.e ‘That’s their private life?’ Is it because so many other people cheat so they tend to come in on the side of leniency?
If someone was a pedophile or a murderer but kept it to their private life, would that be okay too? Okay… of course someone is going to say that those actions are illegal so, okay, what if someone spent every evening shouting profanities at their 6 year old child? Unpleasant – but not illegal, would that too be brushed away as ‘That’s okay though, it’s their private life? Welcome to a job teaching children?!’
Is there any other bigger personal betrayal than cheating? Because it isn’t just the partner you affect or damage, it is often the children and EVERYone has a choice to either man or woman up and deal with the situation correctly if the love is no longer there in a relationship. Of course it’s not an easy thing to do, but it’s being an adult…and a decent one at that…I know there aren’t too many high level public examples of decent human-ery these days… (and yes I made that word up!)
Surely dishonesty is dishonesty? To have an affair requires so many lies, scheduling, planning, avoidance, hiding things, self delusion and often such mean spiritedness in letting the partner think that they might be going crazy with their suspicions. A ‘celebrity’ did this to his wife for TEN years, repeatedly telling her to seek psychiatric help when she voiced her concerns – imagine the long term effect on this woman’s self confidence and mental state.
So is it a sort of general consensus that someone can be a rat in this way, (apologies to rats), but a fine upstanding fellow or lady in other things?
I had quite a few married men hit on me when I was more of a raver, (club and party go-er for our international friends). I always wondered if that was meant to somehow make them more attractive. Clearly it works for some women. It did the complete opposite for me. I considered them kinda …soiled. And whilst to me they were perfectly nice, even charming, I couldn’t shift the idea that they had wives and beautiful small children at home whilst heavily hitting on me and asking directly to hit the sheets. Yucko! Complete turn off.
Some became my friends or acquaintances but I would never consider them as a partner because their character, or lack thereof had been completely exposed and I would not trust them in any important capacity.
Judgmental? I can’t say I care if it sounds that way. That’s why we are given the power to judge and weed out what does not suit us. Rather I’d call it standards. But maybe my standards dip when judging other aspects of human failings. Not sure why this one bothers me as being cheated on has never happened directly to me – but maybe because I have seen the misery this avoidable selfishness has caused others.
But, these days I feel like a lone wolf here.
So School Me!
a) Shut up Theed. Everybody cheats! It’s not a big deal. Hell I’m off to cheat right now…
b) I hear you loud and clear Theed. You are not a lone wolf because…