Do You Suffer From Crippling Self-Doubt?

Self Doubt? Welcome To The Club!

The thing about people who write their blogs, or indeed do anything creative and then are flooded with doubt, is it good enough, will people hate my opinion?’ etc is that they are under the misconception that they are the only ones struggling with self doubt.

How about that job interview where you are literally shaking in your shoes about it. Have you ever considered that perhaps 70% of the people actually doing the interviews may feel the same as you? They may have simply been told that interviewing is expected of them as part of their job title but they hate doing it as it makes THEM nervous.

 

It’s Not Just You!

And if you are wondering whether to press the submit button on the latest blog remember that over half your potential audience will be feeling the same as you.

Somebody recently said that the difference between people who succeed and those that don’t is that the people who succeed have great confidence and just go and get what they want, whilst the others chicken out and give up.

I have to disagree. Having been in the company of many people who are considered accomplished and for ease in seeing the point I’m making, are also well known, I heartily disagree.

 

WARNING! : Some criminal name dropping ahead!

One of those people – and I feel a little bad about saying this as it was heard first hand…but at the same time daft if I don’t reveal who it is – is the great Stevie Wonder. He expressed…shall we say …‘concerns’ about Michael Jackson (waaaay back in the day) regarding who was getting the most awards and attention at the time. Now, we know he loved his brother Mike, the point is, why would such an entertainment titan be expressing a lack of confidence in this way?

Could it be he is human?!

Could it be it’s not just you?!

I’ve been backstage at events and seen some of the biggest stars literally throwing up before going on, or doing that counting thing where you count yourself into a smile of confidence, so you can snap into it from the nervous wreck that you actually are. I peeked Angelina Jolie do this once. Plus have any of you seen the first live television interview that Prince did where he totally lost it and couldn’t generate any worthwhile sentences?

Like I said you are not alone and if you view your own fear with this knowledge you can see that the majority of your audience will be rooting for you because they know exactly how that fear and lack of confidence feels.

So feel the fear (in plenty of company) and press SUBMIT (or do a million other things you are self-doubting yourself out of) anyway!

 

So School Me!

Do you suffer from self doubt? If so how do you deal with it?

 

See Princes’ excrutiating interview below.

Advertisements

48 thoughts on “Do You Suffer From Crippling Self-Doubt?

  1. Here’s my tried and tested approach – bite nails before going up to present or even press submit, then get up there and just do! Fear of failure has a great way of focusing the mind!

  2. So…I am following Colin O’Brady on instagram…who is attempting to cross the Antarctic Solo on foot, which will be a world first..if he accomplishes it…Yesterday, he mentioned that he was mentally at a low, and he listened to a podcast which had an interview of Desiree Linden, the winner of this year’s Boston Marathon. She said…some days it just flows and she feels she was born to do it, whilst on other days, she feels as if she is trudging through Hell. But, every day, she makes the choice to show up and see what she’s got and try and do better. Her advice- Keep showing up!

    I guess, the same holds true for anything in life…including blogging…keep hitting the submit button!

      1. Are you seriously saying that someone as resourceful and focussed as YOU.. needs to be given the address??? I am sure you will find me no matter where I hide, if you so decide!! πŸ˜›

      2. Yes of course I can find you! But I have to place my resources in other places sometimes, chasing other errant bloggers from other parts of the world.

      3. Ha! Santa’s got nothing on me! He’s still using reindeers 2.0 I’m using programmable bears 6.9. No feeding needed and they fly higher and faster.
        The revolutionary bah humbug mode means no presents to give out are even needed, just the sniffy disapproval of ERRANT BLOGGERS.

  3. When I have to do something that makes me nervous Iike talk in front of people I imagine them naked. I find that helps a little. I also have those dreams where I’m naked in front of a rom of clothed people lol so I don’t know I seem to have a naked fetish. πŸ˜€

    1. Amazing people rarely see themselves as amazing enough not to warrant anxiety over how their talent will be perceived.

      It’s the ones with no talent that keep telling you how talented they are. You don’t have to look to far for a great example of this. πŸ˜‰

  4. Interesting thoughts, particularly about top artists who literally barf before going on stage. I lost that self-doubt and stage fright because of two things.
    1) I was sent by an early boss to a seminar of oral expression given by an unlikely consultant. Think Harvard and Actor’s studio. he taught us the mechanics of voice and breathing. Forever grateful.
    2) I read a paper about the Impostor syndrome. Which affects many a successful person.
    First stage: you are scared “shirtless” that you will fail in your mission/assignment. Second, you work your butt off. Third, you succeed. Fourth, a very brief moment of elation comes: “I did it”. Five, the impostor syndrome kicks in: “I was just lucky. Next time I will fail miserably and everyone will know me for the fraud I am.”
    Once I read the paper I was cured… πŸ˜‰
    (And when doubt or fear creeps in, I just breathe, slowly, deeply…)
    Be good my dear Agnes. Have a lovely week-end.

    1. Love it. I once met a successful producer and the first thing he said to me was he was afraid he would be found out! You know? That the curtain would fall and they would see that he wasn’t really that good at what he does at all. I guess that gets to us all at some point but as you say we can use various techniques to fight it off.

      Now which weekend do you mean? The one coming or the one when you wrote this first 2 years ago?! ( I continue to be somewhat busy lol!)

      1. Ah! I get the discount pack weekend with all of them in it! Although *sniff* you should know one is not into discounted goods Archibald.

  5. Yes. Fear is holding people back all the time, preventing them to create, to make positive impact, to make a difference. I too struggle with this. Excuses are just another way of staying idle, under the misconception that it’s safer. πŸ’Ÿ

    1. Isn’t it? When you stay in your comfort zone it’s just so much more….comfortable!
      The minute you step out of it you grow…whatever happens…you still grow.
      PS don’t struggle again! Come visit when you need strength in your corner!

  6. Self-doubt is really just picturing yourself doing something and then failing or humiliating yourself etc. etc. I have always suffered from it and still do but I try to create different, more positive images in my mind before the event (whatever it may be) and play them over and over. Sometimes it works well and other times I’ll abandon my plans and retreat into fear again

    1. Oh dear I hear you! πŸ™‚ As forthright as I can be I have just realized there is something currently I am doing exactly that to, as in letting the fear win!

      See how it sneaks in! But that is a GREAT solution the positive images. Maybe add to it a great big smile – a real one – I bet it’s hard for fear to operate with that confidence and air of what will be will be plastered all over your face!

      1. Lol. No it doesn’t! I’ve had your site open in a tab for a few days now – refusing to close it off when I became too busy. I skimmed some bits. Looks like it’s a settle down with a cup o camomile tea-er.
        I’ll be over soon to see why the cat is doing the laundry! πŸ™‚

  7. I remind myself that I’m not special, I’m a small entity in a big crowd, so when I hit publish, I know my impact is small but it still feels good to write something and share it. I even feel good about reading your post, thinking about it, writing a comment, and then clicking on the “POST COMMENT” button πŸ˜ƒ

    1. Oh that’s a good one. Change perspective. I remember when I was living in New York. My home in London was burgled and when I was told I wasn’t that bothered. The importance was drained out of it because no one was hurt and I had another perspective.
      Had I been in London it would have been a big deal. So when you lessen the importance of yourself or a situation it makes it easier to swallow!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s