Men Should Be Free To Hit On Women!

Men should be free to hit on women as they please you silly’s! So says French actress Catherine Deneuve.

In the wake of all the Harvey Weinstein hullabalooo she and some 100 other French women have signed an open letter claiming that the whole thing has got witch-hunty and poses a threat to sexual freedom.

They attacked campaigns like ‘Me Too’ and the French equivalent ‘Balance Ton Porc’ (call out your pig).

Here are some points they made in the letter published in the newspaper Le Monde:

Rape is a crime, but trying to seduce someone, even persistently or cack-handedly, is not – nor is men being gentlemanly a macho attack.

Men have been punished summarily, forced out of their jobs when all they did was touch someone’s knee or try to steal a kiss.

(‘Steal’ – good choice of words!)

Men had been dragged through the mud for talking about intimate subjects during professional dinners or for sending sexually charged messages to women who did not return their attentions.

They argued that legitimate protest against the sexual violence that women are subject to, particularly in their professional lives had turned into a witch-hunt.

What began as freeing women up to speak has today turned into the opposite – we intimidate people into speaking ‘correctly’, shout down those who don’t fall into line, and those women who refused to bend [to the new realities] are regarded as complicit and traitors.

‘I don’t think it is the right method to change things, it is excessive’, Deneuve said last year, ‘After ‘calling out your pig’ what are we going to have, ‘call our your whore’?’

They went on to say:

Instead of helping women this frenzy to send these (male chauvinist) ‘pigs’ to the abattoir actually helps the enemies of sexual liberty – religious extremists and the worst sort of reactionaries.

As women we do not recognise ourselves in this feminism, which beyond denouncing the abuse of power takes on a hatred of men and of sexuality.

Women are sufficiently aware that the sexual urge is by its nature wild and aggressive. But we are also clear-eyed enough not to confuse an awkward attempt to pick someone up with a sexual attack.

Woah! There’s a lot to unwrap here!

The thing about humans is that no one or anything involving them is black and white. This means that on both sides there are degrees of merit and hogwash.

I don’t understand Deneuve’s ‘witty’ ‘call out your whore’ comment because surely the whole problem was caused by the inequality and imbalance between men and women. Why would you call out your whore when most people working in that profession are not the ones who hold the power in the situation – unlike the Trumps, Weinsteins and Polanskis of the world.

 

Of course the movement is going to pull too far in one direction. This is to be expected because it has been pulled too far the other way since the beginning of time. And I tried but I couldn’t find the open letter written by Deneuve denouncing the disparity toward women during all that time. Either that or Google has hidden it.

Men Love Me!

I’m not a fan of the women taking it too far either. There is definitely a type of woman who wants to see all men locked up for offering her a seat on a bus or smiling at her and saying ‘Good morning.’ But as ever there are always those women who think that men are so weak that they need women to stick up for them. They are the types who are ‘really cool about going with men to strip clubs.’ The ‘men love me… I’m just one of the boys!’ brigade. And the minute ANY pro women movement emerges (right or wrong) they are the first in the front line to go into battle for the poor helpless men. Remember the ‘grab my pussy’ tee shirt wearers? There’s definitely a type on the other side of argument also.

There are swivel eyed loons in all quarters, but each will tell you that the crazy exists only on the other side.

Neither am I under the impression that men just ‘hitting on women’ is the main problem. It is the persistent arrogant, ego-driven, entitled, potentially dangerous and aggressive forms of pursuit that both sides would do well to keep the focus on.

Stay Classy!

You deserve to be ‘dragged through the mud’ if you are talking intimate crap or going in for a (romantic) kiss in a professional setting – whatever your sex. Pull your socks up and have some standards Deneuve!

And men today don’t just send ‘sexually charged messages’ to women, they send unsolicited pictures of their knobs. She neglected to mention that – or maybe she thinks that is just flirty banter also.

And frankly not ALL women are ‘clear-eyed enough not to confuse an awkward attempt to pick someone up with a sexual attack’, particularly younger, inexperienced women who are often the focus of that sort of unwanted attention. These women clearly have short (addled?) memories when it come to remembering the confusion and vulnerability of youth and puberty.

It is because of a millenia of similarly ingrained women-haters (or indeed men-preferers) that women are damned whatever they do.

If they keep things to themselves: ‘Why didn’t you speak out when it happened?’ Regardless of the fact that many did and were ignored and ‘Your silence makes you as culpable as Weinstein!’

If they speak out: ‘Oh I see, jumping on the bandwagon.’

 

The Real Bullies

I always say you can tell who the real bullies have been historically and in the present by the amount of abusive and derogatory terms culturally available for the victims. Compare the lengthy list of standard, roll-off-the-tongue, derogatory abuse aimed at women to the one reserved for men and get back to me. This fun game works with other social groups also!

 

Great Change

Any historical movement asking for great change has been forced to be ‘excessive.’ If men had listened when women politely said ‘No thank you, I don’t wish to see your penis, I’d just like the job?’ excess would not be necessary. Unfortunately they didn’t. But I agree that ‘men being gentlemanly a macho attack’, I’m also not into the mob-handed PC shouting down of people’s right to their own opinion – however stupid – and sexual liberty doesn’t need anyone’s help – between consenting adults.

Unfortunately there will be some people (both women AND men) who will use the emerging movements as a revenge tool or to gain some extra income. A woman won £9k yesterday because a man at her work told her she was not a real woman if she didn’t have kids.

That sort of thing is down to the idiocy of the courts, not the movement. At least let the ‘new dawn’ get off the ground and establish something of a structure before the men love me strip club goers start knocking it down. But in truth it will take the pull and push from both sides to create the new direction.

 

 

WHAT SAY YOU??!!

A) Shut up The Ed. Deneuve was right. Men should hit on women whenever they please, particularly at work, the poor things! Selfish women should actually provide schedules so colleagues at work know the best times to repeatedly hit on them. That way they can still pick the kids up and get the dinner on the table in time. The moaning minnies are not busy enough.

b) You’re right The Ed some women just hate other women and will always be a divisive force to them whatever they do or say, whilst constantly seeking the kudos of men.

c) You’re drunk again aren’t you The Ed?

 

PS Happy New Year!

_____________________________________________________________________________________

The style directory for your home...

Artwork taken from ‘Sassmouth‘ A short illustrated story on wolf whistling and catcalling.

Advertisements

48 thoughts on “Men Should Be Free To Hit On Women!

  1. Happy new year Edith. (I will not be dragged into a debate – Deneuve – of which I have no clue. Shall I say that rape is rape and courting ain’t the same thing?)
    We’re back from Asia. Delighted. Will share soon. Already have actually.
    I hope your end of year was happy.
    And wish you a spectacular new year m’lady.
    Your’s truly
    Stamford.
    (See if you can figure that one out?)
    😉

    1. First lazy guess Uni? Or must I work harder to guess?
      Your quick contribution to the debate pretty much sums it all up in one tidy equinoxio sentence.

      We shall both have a spectacular year or someone’s head will roll sir!

      Looking forward to the pics! (Where is he excited smillie when you need it?)

      1. Sir Stamfor Raffles, “founder” of Singapore. 🙂
        Glad to have contributed to a (habitual) nonsensical frog debate.
        Let me know about the heads. I have some names just in case.
        And about the smilie… Tss. can’t trust the help anymore… 🙂

      2. To be perfectly honest, I knew – vaguely – about Raffles, more about the hotel, but it was not until I went to the national history museum in Singapore that I learned his first name.

    1. Lol, it has been fairly polite. I think it’s the after Xmas lull. It’s even taken ME a while to get back to it and I’m fairly obsessed (although also mega busy!) 😉
      I’ll have to try religious post to wake us all up lool!

      How ya been? I’ll come and visit once I get properly back into it.

  2. I find it very disturbing that Deneuve (and the other signatories) seem to be defining sexuality as a predatory thing: “the sexual urge is by its nature wild and aggressive” as the letter says.
    Aggressive. Who wants to be subjected to aggression at work – sexual or otherwise? And while there may be an appropriate situation for the expression of wild sexual urges, the workplace is not that situation! People can control themselves, and in the workplace, they need to. As for outside the workplace – well, what kind of person isn’t interested in whether the other person is interested or not? What the hell kind of relationships are these people taking their example from?

  3. I can’t answer A, B or C as I like none of them. As an oldie of seventy three, I would like to point out that woman have always used their sexuality and charms to “influence” men, or improve their lot in life. ‘Behind every great man, there is a woman.’ ‘The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.’ etc. I can’t but think that today’s women have tied themselves in knots. They have confused liberation with androgyny. Men and women are very different, emotionally and physically. Women need to accept this. THAT would be a true step forward. And sex, has always been how the world goes round. With emasculated men, we will enter an emotionally desiccated place, and I think that would be tragic. We will ALL be dis-empowered!

    1. I’m confused. Men and women are different yes. Women have always used their charms and sexuality to influence men. Yes. Mostly because for decades that was all they were permitted to use to be fair.

      But are you saying that asking men to keep their hands and other bits to themselves is emasculating them?
      Whilst I agree with your points above they seem like different bits of other debates?

  4. With everything that is going on and everything that has come out, it’s hard to say she is right. Because in essence she is to a point. But I think when she calls out the other side and telling them they go too far, I think she is going to far. Do I think every man out there is going to jump me and force me to do what they want? No, I don’t believe that. But growing up I never allowed myself to be put in a situation where a man would have an excuse to take advantage either. Do I say all men would do this? No. I don’t believe every man on the planet is sex driven and cannot control what they do but unfortunately there are a lot that are.

    I believe there are a lot of good men out there that are being accused of things where there is nothing to be accused of but likewise I believe there are men out there that are still getting away with things that are so awful and unmentionable and no one is stopping them. There has to be a point where we understand as women we have to take responsibility for ourselves and understand that no one is going to take care of us except us. We have to be the ones to stand up and fight for ourselves and not allow either side to tell us how to live, talk, look or just be. We have a brain for a reason we need to start using it and make choices and decisions for ourselves.

  5. Good to read this, I didn’t like the French debate. I look after 50 girls from13 to 18. I once asked them in an assembly how many of them had, at some point in their lives, received unwanted sexual attention which made them feel uncomfortable. Every single one put their hand up. From the inappropriate close pressing up against you on a tube to texts asking for nudes, women today are still getting this treatment. Younger women in particular – as you say- don’t know how to handle this. What surprised me was how astonished my husband was when I told him. It made me realise how much I took it for granted that women suffered this kind of behaviour. Deneuve and her pals are missing the point. We all know when attention is unwanted. Why persist? And saying ‘call out your whore’ is not the same thing. At all. It’s a very different power dynamic.

      1. And I left a comment for you on your tres interesting blog – although you wouldn’t know as it marked me as anonymous….Ha! just figured out why. It’s because you are not on WordPress.com. Okay, no problem. Bit slow today! 😀

    1. Woah! Your ‘This Is Me’ post is powerful… I look forward to catching up on the other stories when I have more time.

      PS I could not add to your WordPress follower tally as I couldn’t find where to…which might be the issue you’re having? It could be my browser but do check for yourself.

      1. No I only see Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter etc. No mater for me as I don’t use that to follow people, I keep up with people through my comments or my faves list, but if it bothers you I’d ask someone else if they can see it, ‘cos it might just be me.

  6. This is just a mine-field isn’t it? I read the letter and there were some things that made me, “What? Are you insane?” and there were things that made me go, “Yeah. That rings true.”

    I think the letter was a response to the definite rhetoric that’s out there that ALL men are potential rapists and that as women we should be defiant and fearful of all men. Which is clearly not true. At the same time this, boys will be boys, line that she (and her co-signatories) are running with is old-fashioned and unhelpful.

    God. As with all things there are crazies on both sides and they bring the movements of both sides into disrepute. I have to say that I am fearful for my young sons. I think, if things remain as heated as they are at the moment, their interactions with girls as they enter puberty and beyond are going to be fraught with danger.

    1. Mine field is a good word…and it’s also weird and volatile and sorts of other words….just waiting for the next explosion…

      And yes I can’t imagine where it all will lead to for future generations.

  7. Bigger picture: capitalism – it is based on patriarchal exploitation. Where is the discussion of the 21 trillion dollars ‘missing’ from the US economy (as an example) that could have been used to fund a far healthier, equitable culture, rather than the means and method for keeping a male dominated class in power?

  8. It was a really weird letter too read. I don’t even know how to describe it really,lol…She’s was saying how dare women get upset and how men will stop “stealing kisses” and it was like, to me, “Exactly…That’s exactly what the movement is about?” So she’s for it then, but she’s not at the same? It was an odd letter!lol

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s