If Men Got Pregnant…

cwt edt

beer gTell Me…

If all else stayed the same: emotion, temperament, ego, general cultural stereotypes etc, but men had the babies instead of women,

How would the world be different?!

 

 

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110 comments

  1. The age old who has it worse would be finally answered! Although saying that men can’t even handle a cold, so they’ll be in for a shock if they became pregnant.

    On public transport you’d then have to decide whether a guy is pregnant or just has a beer belly.

  2. There would be an end to war as we know it. Instead of egotistical men dropping bombs on each other’s Countries, they’d rather bicker at each other, having a decreased level of testosterone. Carrying a baby would soften a man, perhaps make him less aggressive. Carrying a life makes it rather difficult to take a life, so I reckon they’d behave! Moan like hell, but behave! πŸ™‚

      1. πŸ™‚ wouldn’t it be marvellous to have calmer men, who didn’t run around fuelled with testosterone, behaving like little boys fighting over toys when they don’t get their way? Yup, bring on a pregnancy, that’ll teach ’em! πŸ™‚

  3. If men got pregnant then they wouldn’t be what we call men. They would not be subject to the same evolutionary and social pressures that drive their focus out into confrontation with the world; all to create a safe haven for the women – the ones who ensure the species will continue.

    All species have strategies designed to ensure that there will be more of them tomorrow than there were today. If they don’t, or if those strategies fail, well, then they disappear over time and we only know about them from stories or fossils.

    Mammals, mostly, have strategies based on the females being protected while bearing young and while those young are dependent. There are wide variations in how that plays out from species to species, but it is a consistent underlying theme.

    The mechanism is so pervasive that we even call our “kind” of life form “mammal” after the means the females have of nurturing the young.

    So, “men” can’t have babies because then they wouldn’t be men – they’d be women – wishing that men had the burden and not them. LOL

    1. Good points. What is you impression then of the roles of both? The nurturers (women) and the men (hunter gatherers / protectors) – are men on the whole performing this role well today or being allowed to?
      Are women still good nurturers or are they letting the world go to pot by their lack of mothering skills?

      1. I think there has been an interesting twist in the trajectory of human evolution. At some point our social structure combined with skills like tool-making and language to shift the impetus of our evolution from the physical to the social.

        Societies trumped families – i.e., the survival of the species no longer depended on one man protecting one pregnant woman and her child; nor did it depend on one small band of men protecting a small group of women and their offspring. Instead, we gradually, very gradually, became more and more dependent on the larger society for protection.

        In that context, the traits that made men successful, physical strength, the urge to roam, dominance, the willingness to kill for the benefit of the local group over some “outsiders”, and dozens more – these became a handicap.

        None of us want to live near a dominant male who simply takes what he feels his family needs and harms anyone who tries to stop him. Yet, those are the heroes who inhabit our ancestral tales.

        So, males have been struggling to fit into social norms that are not their “natural” inclinations (BTW – this is only by way of general discussion and we all know in general it is wrong to generalize).

        We have done a pretty good job of suppressing the more violent among us. We have been gradually shifting the patterns of selection (breeding) in favor of those who are more docile and less prone to violence.

        This makes adopting the behaviors that have traditionally been ascribed to females a survival choice for males, not as individuals but as genetic patterns; and leaves room for more dominant females to express their nature without upsetting the imposed order of things.

        Most of this shift has occurred in the portion of societies where the struggle for existence is heavily moderated by social support.

        There are still a great number of locales where humans live or die by their strength and dominance. In those paces, the “Maleness” of men is still seen as important to survival of the culture. It is part of the issues that underlie the conflict between certain forms of fundamentalism (regardless of religious framework) and modern “humanist” society.

      2. Wow I certainly asked the right person, judging by this response and your piece on men. Even as a woman I have always noted with slight irritation that even on a light level – let’s take adverts – men are seen as you said as ‘noisy, smelly, violent, oafish clowns’ as the women eye-roll their disastrous husbands.
        I can never understand how it is acceptable when if the same advert was applied to women being made to look endlessly stupid and inept there would be uproar.

        Re your response above, I have heard the sense of feeling left behind, replaced, displaced or discomfort at the new roles men are being shifted into. But is it the men’s fault for not evolving with the times better? How long does society wait for men to find their feet whilst society itself keeps evolving?

      3. That’s a tough question. So, let me start with a quote from, I believe H. L. Mencken “To every difficult question there is an easy, obvious answer, that is wrong.”

        When I was a younger person I used to think that I was in control of my self. That there was a kind of rational little man sitting at a control panel in my head who pulled levers and flipped switches and made my choices. I thought that I should be able to train that little fellow to understand the world, see it clearly; then behave in a rational and reasonable fashion.

        Now that I am older, I can look back on my years and see how much of what I thought was my choosing was actually done under the influence of my own inherent bio-chemical nature.

        All us creatures spend the breeding years awash in chemicals that influence our thoughts in ways we can not see.

        Most decisions about visceral responses to things we encounter are dictated by portions of our brains that precede thought. Impulses arrive at these core functions and are evaluated and the chemicals in our bodies are triggered before our cortex is aware of them. Our “rational” mind gets the impulse and the response is underway already. So, what can it do? It rationalizes the response. It makes up a seemingly logical reason for the reaction.

        Can men set aside their innate responses to triggers in their environment? I think they can and do. Can they eliminate them? I doubt it – evolutionary timescales (physical) are long; requiring many generations to occur.

        So, is that a hopeless statement? No. We can find useful ways to channel male impulses away from destructive outlets and into constructive outlets. Sport is a good example of something we use to do this – though engaging in sport is much more effective than observing others.

        We can see that society is shifting, in certain sectors, toward a healthy level of engagement in physical activity among the younger members.

        Bottom line, we are all creatures; lifeforms; patterns that the great constantly shifting sea of life that wraps this planet has taken on.

        Unlike human ideas, which are narrow and limited, life is a continuum. Plant ten tomatoes from the same seeds at the same time in the same conditions and they will vary in every aspect from one extreme to another. All life does this. Nothing is truly a copy of anything else.

        We are the same. There is a continuum of heights, skin tones, temperaments, intellect, skills, etc. We all have various attributes and we all express them in differing degrees, There are women who are just as violent, selfish, slow-witted, or unreliable, as any man ever was. There are men just as compassionate, calm, socially correct, charming, honorable as any woman ever was.

        The danger lies in selecting the behaviors of a few (good or bad) and automatically ascribing them to the many.

        To say “Men are” is to say “All men are”. Say it and follow it with any descriptive words you like and I will produce an exception. Say the same about women and again, I will show you it is not so – not for everyone.

        What I think we must do is try to meet each person as they are and form our opinion of them based on their deeds. When we do, we will often be disappointed, but much more often we will be pleased to have met them.

      4. One should by very careful in quoting Mencken, his views were on race would lead one to avoid bring his name in on a topic of sexism. Even one as light as this one.

        Since I am a man fond of simple answers to hard questions you will have to forgive my more than usual force of my reply.

        Love the topic.

        Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much. Smile!
        Carl

      5. Yes! Mencken was a nasty, opinionated man. Many of his views were considered impolite, even in his own less thn enlightened times. I would never mention him in any discussion of race, or antisemitism, except as a bad example. But, every now and then, his observations on other, less sensitive topics were sharp and clear and insightful. Just shows the danger of assuming that any of us are all one thing or another.

        :^)

  4. Plus yes men can happily be as grey and wrinkly as they choose can’t they? Now if you see a famous older woman with wrinkles she looks like an anomaly.
    I do think however, it is up to the woman or man to set their own boundaries of what is acceptable in their relationship.
    How’s India today anyway generally? Smiling like your pic I hope πŸ™‚

  5. After scrubbing through these responses I think we should coin the term “misterogyny”. Astounding that men are called out for disrespecting women but not the other way around.

    1. Hey Road Dawg! (Shaun even!) πŸ™‚ Good word – like it, although there is one already for what I think you mean. But are you saying that you disagree with what folks are saying? Clearly this conversation has tongue firmly in cheek with a side plate of truth to it.

      1. I find it appalling that in this day and age Men-Bashing is perfectly acceptable and we as men are supposed to sit back and keep our collective mouths shut.

        I find comments about how men can’t handle pain as much as women to be just as offensive as men stating that women can’t do our jobs and other divisive comments.

        If the roles were reversed, there would be moral outrage.

        Quite literally, what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

      2. Do you not see the strength and context of the comments any differently though? Women are yet to find equality of pay and equal respect in a lot of fields for doing the same jobs as men, but a woman saying that men can’t handle pain does not really affect a man’s livelihood or life? – Unless you can point out how it does of course.
        And with that I repeat the tongue in cheek slant that I believe most of these comments were made with – as most of them came with smiley faces.

  6. If men were given the gift of pregnancy, the world of competitive sporrs would be forever changed. Pregnancy would be renamed “The Gestation Game” with leagues, teams and fantasy birthing camps. It would last from fall to spring, so as not to interfere with baseball, football or basketball season. They would have logoed maternity uniforms, support socks and baseball caps. Labor would be a series of stats gathering: how many hours, minutes and seconds with categories to include: biggest contractions, pain free v epidural teams, natural v ceasarean. Las Vegas would have a betting parlor dedicated solely to due dates.

    Finally, they would invent a special vitamin infused alcohol they could chug before during and after pregnancy, called “Fetus Fuel”.

      1. Genetics. They can’t remember anniversaries but they sure as hell can remember who pinch hitted for the Baltimore Orioles during the fourth inning of game five in the World Cup series of 1974.

  7. As a gay man, I’m sure this would make the world nicer, at least from my point of view. I’ve seen a lot of wonderful mothers and fathers struggling to have a child, and I’m sorry to see their sufferings. Thinking about my future too, I know how hard will be to build a family. Anyway I’m sure this “better world” could only happen if both men and women had the capacity to create life.

  8. Women are disrespected in so many cultures, I’d hate to think about a world where the ‘power of making life’ was removed from them. In some places being a ‘mother’ is the only status a woman is socially respected for.

    Last year some religious leader in Turkey said he was fed up of seeing women strutting their pregnant bellies around, that they should hide them, because they are disgusting, and that after 6 months pregnancy all women should remain indoors.

    1. … as usual, people always want what others have… this why so few of us are really happy with their life… we are who we are and we should accept and love each other exactly as we are… this WHAT IF? questions are just a clear sign that humanity is still on the wrong track… sad, if you ask me…

      1. We should just not discuss anything that challenges or debates the status quo? Even for a bit of fun? Sounds interesting.
        As far as I know most of the ease with which we live our lives today started with a ‘what if’ including the computer you are using.
        Hey ho! Thank you for input.

      2. … aham! Well… we are discussing for ages about what ifs?… we developed enough if you ask me… we have everything we want and need to lead a happy life… and still, many of us are not happy… on the contrary… we are searching for a bit of “fun” in a potential and imaginary world… instead we lost our capacity to love and live in the real world… I agree… we should talk… But not about men pregnancies… but about the reason why we are so bored and we don’t find the meaning of life anymore just as it is now… and who knows? Maybe you will be the one who will reveal the truth at this chapter πŸ™‚

      3. ” we developed enough if you ask me… we have everything we want and need to lead a happy life” Okay I’ll pass this news onto the next person diagnosed with cancer 😯 .

        Is it not possible to have “fun” in our imaginations and live and love in the real world at the same time? I don’t really find it that difficult to do both.

        Shall we sit around with serious expressions and only talk about deep profound things all the time?
        What exactly is wrong with talking about imaginary men pregnancies one week and the meaning of life the next week Loveheimer?

      4. Hmm…. so.. let me get this right… if a man gets pregnant, we could heal the world of cancer? Wow… Interesting… Maybe you don’t realize it… but the cancer should have at the base a WHY? question… not a WHAT IF?… to find the cause, and not just treat the symptom… let’s start with that and I am sure we will definitely put a rock in saving this planet… but I must tell you… there are voices out there saying that diseases are just an expression of what we feel… is like a body language of the pain and suffer… whatever… who am I to talk? I just LOVE to see how we are keep trying to save others when we are not capable to even save ourselves.. I wish you a wonderful “funny” day… thank you for this “discussion” πŸ™‚

      5. “so.. let me get this right… if a man gets pregnant, we could heal the world of cancer? ” This question says it all really LoveHeimer. I will bow out gracefully. All the best.

  9. If only men had babies, and women didn’t, then we would be in the same situation as we are now. If both had babies, hmm, I think the world would be a nicer place, but without a section of people free to go off and invent stuff, I’m not sure how advanced our society would be.

      1. Yes, exactly, we multi task. Imagine getting Isaac Newton to cook the dinner, take the kids to judo, attend a pta meeting, do the ironing, and work out gravity. I mean we could…but frankly if all we had to do was work out gravity, we’d probably be colonising Mars by now.

      2. Beatrix Potter wasn’t allowed to deliver her paper on funghi to the Linnaean Society because she was a woman. Had to get a man to read it for her. Ohhhh, I’m going to start ranting now…

      1. Oh! Around here not having children after marriage is like a curse and the woman takes most of the blame. “she’s a male dog, fruitless tree …..”

  10. Whoa! What a question. Impossible to answer because the hormones of pregnancy can change so much, including a mother’s temperament, and emotional responses.
    Even with the benefits of the hormonal changes, I’d still feel sorry for the babies!

  11. For one, there would be far less children in the world because most men would not be willing to go through such things. I think there would be more time off and better healthcare for men who were pregnant because the powers at be would realize how very difficult it is to return to work so soon after such an experience. Also, let us not forget how the antiquated idea that women are somehow responsible for miscarriages, still-births, etc., would simply not exist if men were the bearers of children, because women would never come up with such nonsense. Finally, abortion clinics around the world, birth control, and comprehensive sex education would be readily accessible, available, and mandated by national and local governments, world religions, and supported by the world without question, because no person would have the right to tell another what they should do or not do with their body, especially when it comes to birthing children, which men would be sure to have full control over.

  12. I would assume there would be fewer wars. Seems like a bad idea to go into combat while pregnant and men seem to be more interested in violence, in general.
    I’m interested in how you think it would change the world.

    1. Weeeell…A number of ways I think, much of what folks have said already. This came about because I was listening to women talk about pregnancy in an prenatal class. One of the nurses (child free of course) described child birth as a ‘mild pressure’ and one of the women corrected her and said ‘no it bloody hurts!’ – or words to that effect. Over the years I have always wondered how society gets away with downplaying what women go through in pregnancy. eg when woman is throwing up and feeling absolutely dreadful she is told, ‘you are not sick, you are pregnant.’ It is such a patronising thing to say as I’m sure that whatever description vomiting daily and feeling awful with a myriad of other issues for 9 months is given it’s simply not pleasant. I don’t give a hoot either for the usual ‘millions of women do it everyday’ nonsense either. That still does not lessen the physical, hormonal, emotional difficulties that one singular woman might be going through.

      I didn’t want to point the finger but…I’m pretty sure I know where this downplaying may have started…

      1. I agree. I’ll never experience childbirth or pregnancy but I get the strong impression that it’s unbelievably unpleasant. Some men and some doctors do patronize pregnant women, I’ve seen it happen. I can kind of identify with that kind of treatment. I have a mental illness and so often get pigeonholed and my issues dismissed, particularly by older men. I get told to get over it and that it’s all in my head (which is true.. that’s the point πŸ™‚ The problem, I think, is lack of empathy.

      2. Yes we can be a dismissive bunch of tarts we humans! And talking of empathy or lack thereof, my mother says when she was having me a nurse slapped her for having the nerve to express discomfort and pain, so she drew back and gave her right hook…and here I am! I do like to make an entrance! πŸ˜€

  13. They would understand pain women deal with every day. They’d finally know when to keep their mouths shut because women are always right. When a woman asks a man what she just said she’s asking him to repeat it exactly and when a woman asks why you lied or are lying, she’s giving you a chance to change your answer

  14. Well, based on the helplessness men seem to have while experiences the common cold, I shudder to think what they would be like pregnant and giving birth!

    Here’s one of my all-time favourite commercials to illustrate my point.

    Diana xo

  15. If Alien Nation provides any guide, I suppose it’d be just a matter of time before we went bald, grew red spots on our heads and got drunk off curdled milk.

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