Sock ‘Em Solange And Gentleman Jay – Round Two!

solange and Jayz

‘Kay folks! Everybody be talking ’bout it! And I’m interested in this event from a number of perspectives.

But lets recap for any of you who are not aware. Solange, sister of singer Beyonce, was filmed b*tch slapping, kung fu kicking and yelling at her brother in law Jay Z in an elevator…or at least trying to! Following which a kindly hotel worker sold the gold dust footage to gossip blog TMZ.

See below:

 

Okay. You with me so far?

Now the thing I want to pull out of this for discussion is not Solange and her family in particular. The lady was mad as hell about something and Jay Z (in this instance) did the right thing in not rising to her steaming funk physically. I also think Beyonce did the right thing, (unlike some voices I’ve heard) by not adding fuel to the fire and picking sides. Because of that they classily avoided tumbling out of the elevator, dresses ripped, shirts undone, weave on the floor, earrings missing, Jay Z’s jacket on backwards, lipstick smudged, hollerin’ like drunks thrown out of a bar before closing time. And lets not forget Brother Bodyguard, who efficiently handled his business.

I have always had a thing about that saying: ‘gentlemen should not hit ladies’. This stands to reason. But what if they are not behaving like ladies? Why do some women think it is okay to lay a hand on men…and expect no spare change?

Now, I know we all lose it sometimes. But some women make a habit of it and then hide under the ‘men should not hit women’ banner.

 

Question:

LADIES. Be honest. Have you ever swung at a man? And if so, do you think it is okay if he swings back? What do you tell your sons to do in this situation?

MEN. Be honest. Do you allow women to take a swing at you and stick to the men shouldn’t hit women rule? Or how do you handle it?

ALL: Much mirth has been made of this event (some very funny!) But if Jay Z had swung at Solange all hell would have broken lose. – So why the double standard?

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67 thoughts on “Sock ‘Em Solange And Gentleman Jay – Round Two!

  1. I have always said I am the worst person for anyone, male or female, to pick a physical fight with. I simply have no physical fight in me…I have never hit anybody, not even in primary school or in kindergarten. Well, I did slap one girl one time in college because I was busy trying to carry our drunk friend up some stairs and she was hysterically (she was also drunk) shouting at us to stop and pulling at us. I turned around and laid one on her cheek and told her to ‘shut up…we are helping her!’ Yeah, that was my one moment. Doris Mwangi hit me when we were in Standard 5 (I was the youngest in the class) and my chin still bears the scar where she cut me open. I remember just standing there and wondering why she’d hit me. As for men, I don’t recall ever having to swing at somebody. I know women are taught to apply some self-defense moves if they are under attack but to reach out, in anger, towards a male (or female) with the intention of hurting them physically? I have never been in that I-want-to-beat-you-down situation, elevator or otherwise. I am more likely to ask for a discussion, setting an appointment for holding a mediated discussion on why that situation occurred if the person in question is not available right at that time. One time, at a club, my friends came running up to me to say some girl had thrown water at them and called them the ‘b’ word…I suppose, because I am black, they figured I would Solange it up…shock on them when I, instead, walked up to the girl and politely asked her why she did all that…she called me very many colorful names too but I still never got the urge to hit or Solange it up on her. I don’t think men should hit women, and I don’t think women should hit men.

  2. I have never swung at a man, but I was hit once. When dude hit me, I hit him back. He never hit me again. But, I feel Jay-Z should have hit back only depending on the circumstances. It’s no fact that Solange is jealous of her sisters success, but she is grown (Solage) and shouldn’t be hitting on anyone. As far as Beyonce, I already know she is very passive, so it didn’t surprise me that she just stood there. Let’s face it Beyonce is NOT a fighter, but she didn’t choose sides either, which can be good and bad, depending on the situation.

  3. I was kinda hoping you would bring up the Elevator incident in your blog…after all, it is one of those defining moments of the Milky Way galaxy! πŸ˜€ And to answer your question, well..I am old-fashioned in this…I believe its just not right to hit women..that’s the way I have been brought up…the only girl I remember hitting is, of course, my elder sister…and that was as a kid, when we had our fights…but, in general, I have never been a proponent of hand to hand combat…irrespective of gender…I believe, I can use my words to do much more damage, push coming to shove! πŸ™‚

    1. Sisters don’t count! That’s what they are born for! πŸ˜€ (Or so my brothers tell me – so it must be true right?) And of course you are correct. It was and will remain a defining moment in the annals of time, akin to landing on the moon. As are all matters to do with people who make pop music.

  4. Haha, I never really realised the double standard until now, after I read your post. I’ve never hit anyone ever, and I think restrain is a major thing that needs to be learnt. For both sexes.

  5. A man should never hit, or strike, a woman. Maybe I’m old fashioned but that’s just how I was raised. However, there are ways to subdue and gain physical control over the situation without striking a woman. I won’t go into specific examples but hitting a woman shouldn’t be an option. The double standard exists because of the image attached to JayZ’s public persona. We just watched a gangsta rapper get “beat up” by a pop diva’s little sister. He did do the right thing (I personally thought Beyonce should’ve done more but I don’t know the whole situation so I’ll reserve judgement) but it did go against the image he’s built over the last 20 years. “Gangsta rappers don’t get beat up”…especially by girls.

      1. Because she would have lost the battle either way and simply added fuel to an already heated situation. If she took sides she would have made either one angry. For her it was no win.
        If Ms Solange was drunk for example how would pointing that out help as she was already clearly out of control?
        The argument was not hers, no one was in danger, they are in public and Ms Beyonce has worked way too hard on her image to sully it with a nonsense street brawl.
        What say you?

      2. Hmmm…I guess as a married man I believe in the leave in cleave theory. Once two become one they are just that…one. Means its us against everyone, including family, if it comes to it. If a man has a problem with my wife he needs to address me first and vice versa if a woman has a problem with me. It’s a little more murky when it’s a sibling but for me the concept is the same. We don’t know the circumstances that caused Solange to go off like that but if it was some drunken rant (and assuming JayZ didn’t do anything over the top to cause it) then Beyonce needed to check her sister. I would expect my wife to do the same (and she has 5 sisters lol), especially knowing the type of man I am and knowing I wouldn’t physically retaliate against her sister.

  6. I told my husband when were dating that he had better never hit me without a damn good reason, or don’t go to sleep because he wouldn’t wake up. To me, a good reason would be when I deliberately push his buttons to make him mad. He would have had good reason to lash out when I told him that I had developed feelings for another man (issue since resolved) I have punched him in the arm when I got so mad I lost it. He didn’t strike back. And he has never hit me. (We won’t count when he cracked me on top of my head with his elbow. That was an accident)
    There are double standards though. In a domestic situation, people always assume the man is the aggressor. I knew of a 6’8 guy abused by his 4 foot something wife.

  7. Loved it. I’ve been hit by 3 women in my life at 36. I’ve had my share of guys who I’ve had to put down, but have never hit a woman, so this hits home. Being raised in a home of powerful women, 3 sisters and a mom divorced with dad on a 2 wk schedule, I was taught the no hit girls principle. so ya, much as i may have ever felt like it..no smack back. I applaud J. It’s not always easy. but hey its just one of those d.standards that we live with and probably in most cases should keep around. Unless she’s an MMA fighter, then man I don’t know what I might have to do to survive. haha. Great post, loved it. sorry for the novel comment lol.

      1. tru.. made me who I am.. close with dad too.. but think they won by shear number. My ex wife is strong as hell I can’t handle week women… I’m too much to handle lol. Have a great weekend. I enjoy your writing.

  8. I’m kind of amazed that people still behave in that manner past preschool. Isn’t that where you’re supposed to learn that behavior isn’t kind?

  9. I have never hit a guy or a lady. If a guy hit me, I’d probably hit back half the time πŸ˜‰ . If a lady did, I’d try my very best to walk away or not to hit back, but I can’t say with 100% certainty I would never hit back (and if I did, it would be a slap and nothing else). However, if my girlfriend/wife hit me, I’d most probably never hit back.

  10. This is rather difficult, you know. As a child, if I was hit, I would hit them back, but never to the point of causing the other person any injuries. Basically I would make my “physical” point once and leave.

    I once fell for a guy who hit me for being too clingy. All I’m gonna say is never again.

    What about verbal abuse, though?
    There’s also a double standard going on when it comes to raising your voice at someone during an argument. Us girls tend to get away with it. It does get ugly and I think verbal abuse does as much harm as taking a swing at anyone. I draw the line there too. They might say it in the heat of the moment, but I don’t take too kindly to people who can’t keep their cool regardless of gender.

    1. Thanks Jolee. I actually don’t think any of it is acceptable and I have zero tolerance for it in my life. Hitting, verbal abuse, even making me feel slightly uncomfortable is a ‘hit the road jack’ offense.

    2. This is a good point. There’s a lot more tolerance for a woman giving a man the sharp side of her tongue than for a man giving a woman the blunt end of his fist – each using their own strength against the other. Verbal or physical, it’s still violence.

  11. My first experience with this was way back in grade school when we were playing work-up base ball and a girl tried to crowd me out of my turn at first base and I pushed her away. I did not hit her but she went to the teacher and told her that I had. I was called in and spent the rest of the noon hour at my desk rather than outside playing. I learned my lesson well and for the rest of my life, whenever I found myself in a confrontation with a female I got as far away from her as I could.

  12. Something my mum has always said to my brother, “never hit a woman, period” and my brother responded, “what if she hits me?” My mum then stated something pivotal, “then at that moment, it’s time for you to pack your bags and leave.” Recently, he did just that when his girlfriend began slapping him after he confronted her about a lie. His nine year old daughter was there to witness her father being hit as she cried in fear. My brother walked out the door and has not gone back, and he never will.

    There is a double standard indeed but truth be told, the moment a man decides to defend himself, he will still be seen as the wrong party. It’s best to leave. Meanwhile I’ve yet to see the video and I’ve no desire to. Celebrities are just people and I give them the privacy that i’d want.

  13. “…they classily avoided tumbling out of the elevator, dresses ripped, shirts undone, weave on the floor, earrings missing, Jay Z’s jacket on backwards, lipstick smudged, hollerin’ like drunks thrown out of a bar before closing time.”

    I prefer not hitting (especially in an elevator) for the very reason you stated so humorously. The only time I remember hitting a guy was during childhood… because he wouldn’t leave my sister alone.

  14. The truth is that despot women’s lib and all else, men tend to be stronger. A woman should not hit a man, but if she does, men should restrain rather than return blows… Just my opinion of course.

      1. No matter your gender . . . if you are WITH an abuser, you had better not punch without being prepared for a BIGGER punch (or worse) in retaliation. Just get the hell away from the creep. Best to get out of the relationship all together. YES, it’s scary but not as bad as having your skull bashed in.

        In this case, it’s good that he remained calm . . . she must be a nut case, he’s a BIG guy!?!

    1. You know what? Women are not necessarily the weaker sex. I am a small man and many women are bigger and stronger. Do you think that makes any difference?

  15. I’ve never taken a swing at anyone, male or female. I think restraint from both sexes is the proper way to handle things.
    I’m sure we’ll never find out the entire truth to the Jay-Z Solange argument, but it’s really not our business. Though I don’t blame the guy who sold the video to TMZ for trying to make a sweet buck off of their antics! πŸ™‚

      1. It’s going really well! I’m down by nearly 50 pounds at this point and have lost a bunch of inches from exercise. I hope you’re doing well! Good to see you! πŸ™‚

  16. Ok, so I slapped my first boyfriend in the face when I was 13. He slapped me back. I never hit a man again. I had a boss who used to say, never hit a lady, but if she hits you, she ain’t no lady.
    Diana

  17. I was in an abusive relationship, she was kicking my ass for about 6 weeks before it became normal to hit each other.thank GOD that marriage ended the way it did – abusers know no boundaries :/ Good job Jay Z handling that bulllshit. Damn.

  18. Nobody should hit another person. I have never hit a woman.

    I have hit two guys in my youth: one had attacked a friend, almost drowning him, I slapped him so hard he fell and we ran, and the other was insulting my friend, then pushed me, I pushed back, then he slapped me, I slapped back, then he punched me, and I punched him back, then we decided to call it quits (he didn’t appear at school the next day, a friday, so I presume I gave him a black eye).

    I think the attacks were justified, on one case we were in danger, in the other case, I gave back what was given to me.

    I don’t think I’d ever hit someone without it being for self-defense or to defend a friend/ family member.

    1. Self defense is a whole other issue and in my books is justified. I’m alluding to those who rather than discuss a problem, or walk away to calm down, escalate it immediately to fisticuffs and screaming in someone’s face.

  19. This is a point my husband makes all the time, that there is a double standard in which women can assault men but not the other way around. I argue that men are physically stronger than women and, therefore, there is an inherent power imbalance.

    But it is a difficult issue. Men ought to have the same rights to safety as women and violence shouldn’t be tolerated, regardless of the gender of either party. If my sister attacked my husband I would be no less appalled than if my brother attacked my husband.

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