Don’t Break My Hear ar art!

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Celebrity Big Brother

In the UK, Celebrity Big Brother has come to it’s rousing fireworks and glitter on the catwalk end, crowning an old comedian, Jim Davidson as it’s winner.
The success of 2014 could be a turning point for the old format, because the show had enough feel good moments to counteract the cringe-worthy ones and the awkward blazing rows.

…And I keep singing that old UB40 song in my head, ‘Don’t Break My Hear ar art!’

What stuck out for me as an observer and supporter of women was the behaviour of two of them. Firstly Linda Nolan who basically handed her nemesis Jim Davidson the winners crown by her grumpy harridan persona and then Casey Batchelor re-enacting how countless of my girlfriends over the years have behaved and millions of women would have recognized as they watched her.

Linda Nolan

Quickly to Linda. If you look at Jim and Linda, they were not so different. Both had deeply entrenched permanent upside-down laughter lines etched into their unbotoxed faces as evidence of years of handing out stink-eye and plentiful bitching and moaning. But Jim could temper his grumpiness with humour and some humility, Linda couldn’t.

Jim, like most men I’ve known, did not like to wallow in the simmering animosity hanging over a recent row and never minded apologising first, regardless of who was right or wrong, to quickly clear the air. Linda preferred to keep the stench of disagreement hanging, churlishly refusing the apologies of both Dappy and Jim Davison on separate occasions, whilst never considering apologising herself for anything she did or said, if only to keep the peace, (or at least that is what we were shown!)

Linda, at her age perhaps should have known that women are not given the same leeway as men for their behaviour and that men on the whole are far better at positive PR than women, who as soon as they stop smiling and being pretty, consenting and cute will always attract the blame and the worse name calling. For example I used ‘harridan’ earlier – it tripped easily off the tongue. Quickly – off the top of your head, anyone know the equivalent for a man? Menopausal bitch, slut, whore, ho, cow, old bag, witch, bint, harpie…Again quickly off the top of your head – what are the men’s versions?

Casey Batchelor

And then there’s Casey. It’s not that men don’t get their hearts broken, but in my experience it is women time and again who exhibit learned helplessness where relationships are concerned. And once they are through with one godawful relationship and have done away with all the drama and bad feeling, they go out into the world again, armed with zero lessons learnt to find the same man with a different face.

It’s not like it’s a secret that some men are badly behaved and I believe the wail of ‘you can’t help who you fall in love with’ is a lazy cop out, because unless mentally disadvantaged, you can help your own behaviour. Women who give their heart willingly to every bastard on the corner remind me of the leafleters that plague you on the high street.

They have this leaflet that they could care less about and they shove it unlovingly into the hands of anyone who doesn’t outright ignore them. Black, white, tall, short, speak English? Don’t care – here, have a leaflet! Their indiscriminate generosity is evidenced on the ground where tons of previously thrust leaflets lie stamped into the brown mulch, spittle, fag ends and half eaten Burger Kings by pedestrian traffic.

And similarly when you don’t care enough about your heart that’s where it ends up – metaphorically speaking. And that’s the part where it breaks and you eat icecream fudge.

How often do you find 10 millions worth of diamonds under the feet of high street shoppers, carelessly trampled on? It is unlikely, because diamonds are treated with velvet wrapped reverence and care and valued highly by most people.

To me, a person’s self esteem and heart are of far greater value and should be treated with due care and respect by their owners FIRST before expecting some stranger to take care of what they themselves show little appreciation or value for. But that’s me…clearly not multitudes of women.

The lesson is simple. If you don’t want people to keep stepping on and breaking your heart, don’t keep handing it to bypassers and don’t keep leaving it on the floor.

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